the cuckoo's child, by invitation

[purposeful_glory]

It is obvious from the time Loki learns to walk that she is not going to be very good at it. Normal toddlers fall, and often; she does it more, and longer. She has been practicing at walking for years before she can cross a floor smoothly nine times of ten, even if she does not sprawl completely every time she missteps.

She winces when she trips, not so much out of embarrassment or because she's hurt herself, but because the reactions are never good.

Falling is not a princessly thing to do.

Comments

[alicornucopia]

"How is it dishonorable, though?"

[pythbox]

"Battle is a contest between women that measures skill at arms, not a contest between men that measures skill at sorcery."

[alicornucopia]

"Okay, so I guess I won't defeat my enemies with sorcery," says Loki, "but I won't be able to defeat any enemies at all if I keep falling. I want to try to fix it."

[pythbox]

"I will think on it further," Frigg promises.

[alicornucopia]

"All right," sighs Loki, who supposes this is the best she will get today.

[pythbox]

Frigg ruffles her hair and goes back to his weaving.

[alicornucopia]

Loki picks up her scepter and tap-tap-taps away.

When no instruction on magic from Father is forthcoming, she starts - unobtrusively - reading about magic in the library. It is not very instructional, but it is something. She takes notes. These are partly in plaintext - she would be in some trouble, if she were discovered, but that's more likely to happen at the reading stage than at the note-reviewing stage. Partly they are in her cipher, which she uses because not only is she uncertain of Thor keeping her distance from the private notes, but also she is quite certain that Heimdall sees everything. (Her processing notes are not even in the diary-and-planning cipher; these she has learned to do in code that not even she can read an hour later.)

When she has gotten through as much as she reasonably can without outside help, at her current reading level - years later - she seeks her father again.

[pythbox]

"What is it, Loki?"

[alicornucopia]

"I was wondering if you had got anywhere about helping me not fall? I want to see the spell-parts."

[pythbox]

"It is a tricky problem," says Frigg. "If the knowledge exists, I do not think it exists in this realm."

[alicornucopia]

"How did you learn magic, Father?"

[pythbox]

"From my father, in Vanaheim," he says. "A very long time ago."

[alicornucopia]

"Are girls ever allowed to learn it there?"

[pythbox]

"There are girls who learn magic," says Frigg, "but you will not be one of them, because your mother wants you to be better than that."

[alicornucopia]

"Mother does magic sometimes, though," Loki says slowly.

[pythbox]

"The power of Odin is sacred, and it came at a terrible price," he says, shaking his head. "It is no art of men."

[alicornucopia]

"Her eye," nods Loki, pensive.

[pythbox]

"Her eye, and other things," says Frigg. "Terrible and secret things. I would hope you do not seek power at so great a cost."

[alicornucopia]

"I would rather learn magic that doesn't want my eye," says Loki. "But I don't like that I am not supposed to learn any magic at all whether it wants my eye or not. If there are two kinds of people and one kind doesn't do magic and the other does, maybe I should just be the other kind?"

[pythbox]

"You cannot," sighs Frigg. "A woman you were born; a woman you will be. And please, do not voice such thoughts to your mother."

[alicornucopia]

"I don't talk to her about anything important," says Loki.

[pythbox]

"You are wise beyond your years," says Frigg, smiling.

[alicornucopia]

"Sometimes I have a new idea for talking to her and then I try it, but never with anything that matters. But you don't growl at me."

[pythbox]

"I do not," says Frigg. "Fathers do not growl. We are gentle and kind."

[alicornucopia]

Loki considers this, then says, "I don't want to growl at any children. Does that mean I just can't have them?"